Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I just said "oooh weee!" We must be goin' to Texas!

Dear loyal readers and other folks bored at work,

Welcome to our vacation blog. Mamie and I kicked off our wedding tour last calendar year in Italy and you'll be glad to know that we're fully geared up for the wedding season here in the States. No doubt we'll be sharing the proverbial pen, but I'm going to need to start this one since Mamie is trying to figure out how to use all of the handicapped accessible facilities in the restroom while prancing about in her negligee. Note to reader: Mamie will argue that the strappy, short, cotton number with lace embellishments is not a negligee due to the fact that it's made from nature's fabric. She calls it a "night dress."

I digress...

I don't want to miss out on some of the more important moments of our trip up to this point.
  1. We each ordered a light beer at the airport. They came out in 2 pint glasses. At that point we threw caution to the wind and decided to get some hash browns at Dunkin' Donuts to go with it.
  2. We met Erica, the bride and also known as "Bo Peep," and the other bridesmaids at a charming establishment in the Montrose neighborhood of Houston. Less than one drink in we were met by a giant cockroach whose exoskeleton was soon crushed by Jess. Ten minutes later he was resurrected and dragged his semi-crushed hind quarters from our table with the brute strength only a creature that has lived through the Apocalypse could muster.
  3. We made it to our super fancy hotel-- this will take more than a bullet point...
A couple months ago I became addicted to naming my own price for fancy hotels all over the US-- including, but not limited to my home city of Philadelphia. You'll understand our excitement when William Shatner let us know that we would be staying at the Hilton in downtown Houston for a sweet $60/night. Upon subtly clarifying for the man at the counter that we did, indeed, want two beds in our room we were up the elevator and to our home away from home, room 328. It didn't take two smart ladies like us too long to realize that our room is designed for handicapped people. We have learned some interesting facts about the challenges that folks with disabilities face and the accommodations that nice hotels like Hilton provide to mitigate these challenges. Accommodations like: closets with very low hanging bars, benches in the bathtub, and raised toilet seats. This may also be the reason why our "balcony" has a 4 1/2 foot high cement wall blocking us from any chance of dangling a limb onto the rooftop of the parking garage a mere 2 inches below. Don't take this the wrong way, folks, we're not upset or bitter. It's just that our dresses drag the floor in the closet and our legs dangle when sitting on the toilet.

It's 1:17 in our lives and we're turning in. Take this blog as an indication that we're thinking of you while on our wedding vacation and also that we like attention.

Pastey-white until tomorrow around 11 am, I remain,

Kimber

3 comments:

  1. people...update more often PUH-leeze. i'm already getting distracted by other more frequently posted blogs.

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  2. mol, tell mamie. she's promised for days that she'll pen a blog. looks like shopaholic has taken all her mental capacity so i'll be writing another within minutes. stay tuned

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